If Ivan Gazidis is to make good on the change he promised this summer, then Arsenal must aim to improve the weakest areas of their team – at this point in time, that would be central midfield.

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Maxime Gonalons – the 1980’s pornstar

Time is an issue.

Wenger cannot afford to pursue an unproven player who is still waiting for his first facial hairs to sprout. A veteran or a man in the autumn of his career may provide Wenger with the know-how the position commands.

If Wenger was looking to employ someone with a touch more experience, then the Frenchman should consider his national compatriot, Maxime Gonalons.

At the age of 28, the French midfielder is a seasoned veteran in the defensive midfield role. Having spent virtually his entire career at Lyon, the midfielder has over 240 competitive appearances for the club.

Maxime Gonalons
AFP PHOTO / PHILIPPE DESMAZES

A steady 2.3 interceptions demonstrates his positional sense – but it’s his 4.4 tackles per game that tells the true story of his ability and style of play. The Lyon captain snaps into tackles at an extraordinary rate, setting the tempo for those around him.

His style of play is almost pornographic. And not that new type of pornography; we’re talking 1980s plumber round to fix your pipes sort of pornography. We’re talking handlebar moustache style of pornography. The type were your first instinct is to look away but the compulsion to watch is too much. He thunders into challenges and evokes winces from the crowd, as well as a few semis in those who are so inclined. He’s not pretty – but you’re not paying for prettiness.

Despite attempting so many tackles, the midfielder only commits 1.6 fouls per game. This isn’t Marouane Fellaini aggression – this is controlled aggression by a midfielder who knows his objectives.

Yet his game doesn’t solely revolve around his formidable crunching tackle; the Frenchman turns over possession quickly and has a pass completion rate better than Granit Xhaka (although he does attempt far less).

Wenger would also be attracted by Gonalons ability to play in centre midfield or further back in defence. Although he played the entirety of last season in centre midfield, Gonalons has previously filled in at centre back, when needed, to good effect.

Gonalons’ ability in the air would also be a desirable attribute to Wenger and the squad. As well as fixing the pipes around the Emirates, the man could change a lightbulb or two. The six foot one midfielder won 2.8 aerial duels per game last season. His organisation, leadership and ability in the air would certainly have come in handy against West Brom.

If Wenger is looking for someone who can play further forward and contribute to Arsenal’s attack Gonalons is not the man. But if Wenger is seeking someone to press, harry, tackle, intercept and win headers (and give those in the crowd a hard-on in the process) – he may struggle to find anyone more suitable than the French midfielder.

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