Disappointing’ doesn’t even describe Arsenal’s performance as they lost 3-1 at home to Monaco.

Words like ‘poor’, ‘terrible’ and ‘abysmal’ even seem to fall short of whatever that display was.

We turned up for about five minutes at the beginning of the first half, but other than that we spent the rest of the match wandering around out of position, looking knackered without even running anywhere, not applying any pressure, giving the ball to any Monaco player within six feet and flapping our arms around as if we weren’t even to blame.

We played too narrow, were dragged inwards by a prepubescent team who we, with all due respect, should’ve beaten easily, and failed to address our shortcomings as the game wore on.

Even our star players looked as if they’d never kicked a football before.

David Ospina  5

Really should’ve done better for a couple of goals; although there wasn’t a great deal he could’ve done for the first one, the third one in particular was save-able.

Hector Bellerin 4

He spent a lot of timing roaming around out of position and giving away needless free kicks.

Per Mertesacker 3

Poor Per. It’s rare that he does have such a terrible game but tonight really was a doozy. He was directly responsible for the second goal and I honestly don’t know what he was thinking. He should know better.

Although I find it hard to be too harsh on him considering how consistent he usually is.

Laurent Koscielny 5

He was marginally one of our better players, which doesn’t say a lot. He got behind Monaco’s defence once or twice, which is more than some of our attacking players could do.

Keiran Gibbs 4.5

He started brightly, was quick and looked to be making the right moves to get behind players and put the ball across goal. After the initial few minutes though, it seemed no one was interested in actually attacking.

Francis Coquelin 3

Terrible. Not a lot else I can say.

Santi Cazorla 5

You know it’s been a bad night when even Cazorla can’t seem to make a decent pass. He wasn’t so bad in the first half but by the time the second half eventually dragged around, he was giving the ball away to Monaco players with the worst of us.

Alexis Sanchez 4

Also had what I shall politely call a ‘stinker’. He did look like he wanted to make stuff happen but just couldn’t seem to pull it off.

Mesut Ozil 3

One of his worst games in an Arsenal shirt. Misplaced passes left, right and centre. However, I’m not as worried as Gary Neville seems to think Arsenal fans should be considering he doesn’t play like this often.

Danny Welbeck 4

His first touch makes me want to run hea- first into a brick wall. Overcrowded down the centre too easily and lacked composure.

Olivier Giroud 3.5

Another terrible game (sense a pattern here?). He missed so many sitters that I’m pretty sure I’ll forever have half-moon dents in the palms of my hands from my fingernails.


Theo Walcott 3

He made a difference when he came on and made some great runs but lacked conviction once he actually got in front of goal.

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain 3

I feel for the Ox because he did so well when he came on, his goal was superb, but then everything went south very quickly. You can tell he felt the weight of it as he trudged off the pitch after the final whistle.

Tomas Rosicky N/A

All the poor bloke could do is run around in midfield and not receive balls from his teammates.

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A twenty-something writer living in North London. Likes caffeine, food that’s bad for her and Arsenal. Dislikes avocados, rudeness and Arsenal.