Rob Holding is better than Fabio Cannavaro, this we know with certainty. Here are eight other ‘facts’ you might not have known about the best centre-back in the world.

  1. Rob Holding makes better spag bol than yer Ma.

Despite growing up in Bolton – hardly a beacon of culinary excellence – Rob Holding makes a fantastic spag bol. It’s definitely better than yer ma’s and probably better than Cannavaro’s too. The secret he says is ‘more tomato paste than you would think’. Cheers Rob.

2. Rob Holding doesn’t get hangovers

We all remember the glory days when you could down a bunch of WKD drinks, puke up blue in a bush and feel absolutely fine the next day. This is still a reality for Rob Holding who has never had a hangover in his life.

3. Rob Holding would fight one horse-sized duck & 100 duck sized horses

The question that divided a nation reached its’ zenith when it was asked at Neil Gorsuch’s Supreme Court Senate hearing. ‘Which you would rather fight one horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses?’. Gorsuch cowardly evaded the question but not our Rob. He’d fight both – simultaneously or one after the other he doesn’t mind. He’d win too.

4. Rob Holding always orders four naan with a curry.

“FOUR NAAN ROBERT THAT’S INSANE” shrieked Rob’s mum when he first ordered a curry aged 8. “No mum. It’s just right” replied Rob.

5. Rob Holding can swim faster than a shark.

Gareth Keenan once mused “Will there ever be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark”. It’s been over 15 years but I can tell you now, Gareth, that boy has been born and his name is Rob Holding.

6. Rob Holding writes beautiful existential poetry

Like many of us, Rob has been overcome with a crushing sense of existential dread this year. Unlike the rest of us, he hasn’t just sat around in his pants and waited for Donald Trump to plunge the world into a nuclear winter lasting 1000 years. Rob has channeled this sense of doom into some beautiful poetry which will be published once he finishes his playing career.

7. Rob Holding has a pet tortoise which he raised from an egg

Rob has always been a caring young man and when he found an abandoned egg he took it upon himself to raise the offspring has his own. The tortoise that hatched immediately imprinted on Rob and he has raised it ever since.

8. Rob Holding hasn’t seen Game of Thrones, The Wire or Breaking Bad.

He’s too busy being good at defending.

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