Although transfer clickbait articles can be annoying, they actually help Arsenal.

I always love this time of year. The weather is starting to pick up again, spring flowers are blooming, days are getting longer… it’s just… nice, you know?

*The ground shakes for a moment, and the sunlight dims as if there were an eclipse occurring*

What the hell was that?!

Editor – You felt it too, huh? *begins to laugh* Wasn’t it wonderful?! *laughing becomes maniacal* IT. IS. HERE.

Me – It?

Editor – *now in full cartoon villain mode* Yes! The destroyer of worlds is here! The eater of lives is amongst us! The apocalypse is imminent!!!

Me – Donald Trump is working for Daily Cannon now?!

Editor – No. Something even more sinister.

Me – Katie Hopkins?

Editor – Worse.

Me – Piers Morgan?!

Editor – Worse.

Me – That’s impossible.

Editor – Only those who doubt His power think that Piers Morgan is the worst thing about being an Arsenal fan. But He is no mere mortal. He is not like the rest of us, and His work is already visible to the world! Look for yourself! Look at all those wonderful transfer stories!!!

Me – Oh no.


Me – For f#*$ sake! It’s only the first week of April and this has started already?!

Editor – I know. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?

Me – Beautiful?! The only people who thinks that looks beautiful are the same people who think the new England away kit looks nice with blue socks! It’s hideous!

Editor – Hey! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, okay? Although I’m with you on the England kit. What were Nike thinking?! Thank goodness that Arsenal are with Puma now, imagine if Arsenal were still with Nike and given a kit with that template… *shudders*

Me – That’s the second time you’ve disturbed me today.

Editor – I know, I’m on a roll! At least we’ll forget about that England kit for a couple of months, but the anonymous sources are here to stay!

Me – But why now?! Why couldn’t it wait until the end of the season? Why has all this clickbait suddenly appeared out of nowhere?

Editor – Oi! Language!!!!!!

Me – I didn’t swear.

Editor – Yes you did! You used the c-word…: clickbait.

Me – Oh. That c-word. Sorry. But still, why has so much of it appeared in the news as of late?

Editor – There are a couple of reasons, and they all have one thing in common: money.

Me – Money?

Editor – Yep. For everyone involved in the reporting of a transfer story, it’s all about the money they get from it. Take us, for example. We don’t post ‘clickbait’ stories, but we do post transfer gossip and columns about potential signings. Fans want to hear about who might be coming to Arsenal in the summer, and that ad revenue pays for the bills around here. I’d be an idiot not to post those stories, to be honest.

Me – Oh, everyone knows that. I’m not asking why websites post those stories, it’s just that the timing seems a bit off. Wouldn’t the best time for all of this would be during the summer when Arsenal aren’t playing, no?

Editor – Not exactly. Yes, anonymous sources will run wild in the off-season. But ask yourself this: who benefits from it being reported that Arsenal are interested in Grant Xhaka and Mkhi…Em-cat… I mean, Mmm-bop…, no, Eminem…oh, you know, the bloke at Dortmund with the really hard to spell name.

Me – Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang?

Editor – *scowls in silence*

Me – *smiles* You mean Henrikh Mkhitaryan, right?

Editor – Right. Just give me one second. *presses Ctrl+C, then Ctrl+V* Done. Anyway, who stands to benefit the most from people thinking that Arsenal are planning some transfer activity?

Me – The players and their agents.

Editor – That’s sort of right. But Xhaka has a release clause in his contract and Mkhitaryan is out of contract in 2017. Neither of them need to publicise their availability, as it’s already public knowledge that they have leverage that they can use to leave their clubs should they wish to. So they don’t really need to go through the hassle of selling themselves to clubs when there are already a host of clubs interested in buying them. Why piss off the fanbase of the club that you’re playing for, for no reason?

Me – Fair enough. So us in the media don’t need to publish clickb… I mean transfer news until the summer, and the players involved don’t need the exposure. So who benefits from it being known that Arsenal might buy players in April?