Sunday’s match was pretty much a disaster for Arsenal.

Mike Dean gifted us the result with a non-existent penalty and a farcical free-kick, but really it is just papering over the cracks for a team which has failed to win two of the last six league games – practically relegation form.

It started poorly, with the players showing up in chavvy track suits rather than their smart suits. It was a sign of the sloppy attitude to come.

Bellerin was incredibly lucky for a performance in which he lacked any discipline, making tackles rather than standing off his man and even ending up in the centre forward position. If Chambers is bad, then Bellerin is just a complete liability.

In the other full back position, Monreal was similarly ill-disciplined – what was he doing for the penalty?! And never mind what he was doing there in the first place, he practically did a pirouette before swanning to the ground. He’s bound to have a reputation for that kind of thing now, so he’ll probably give away a penalty at our end next game for diving to the floor.

And as for Mertesacker – we’re surely about to lose him to a doping ban, since performance enhancing drugs are the only possible explanation for how he was able to keep tabs on Aguero.

Neil Ashton gave Cazorla a 7 in his player ratings, which I found ridiculous – he was at best a 6 and frankly even Clichy could have played the assist from the free-kick so really he was probably only a 5.

And as for Ramsey, have you ever seen a player so unfit that they’re completely broken by 80 minutes? The only thing you can put it down to really is that he got fat and lazy over Christmas. The real question is whether it’s simply a case of too much turkey, or whether it’s something more serious. Wenger’s training methods are obviously a potential reason but perhaps we have to go back to his summer wedding to a girl who loves to bake – you can trace his poor form back to that point really and we have to face facts – he either ditches the bakewell tarts or we ditch him.

The final insult was when the sky pundits spent the whole post-match interview praising Wenger’s tactics. Don’t they know by now that it’s just luck? We’ve all heard of the saying – if you give a thousand monkeys typewriters then they will eventually produce the works of Shakespeare.

Well, the moral here is, Wenger’s monkeys have lucked in big time.

Wenger Out!

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