There is no other word for it but ‘sh*t show’ when it comes to describing Arsenal against Crystal Palace.

LONDON, ENGLAND - OCTOBER 27: Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang of Arsenal reacts to a decision by referee Martin Atkinson during the Premier League match between Arsenal FC and Crystal Palace at Emirates Stadium on October 27, 2019 in London, United Kingdom. (Photo by Alex Morton/Getty Images)
LONDON, ENGLAND – OCTOBER 27: Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang of Arsenal reacts to a decision by referee Martin Atkinson during the Premier League match between Arsenal FC and Crystal Palace at Emirates Stadium on October 27, 2019 in London, United Kingdom. (Photo by Alex Morton/Getty Images)

From throwing away a two-goal lead to watching their captain cup his ear at the home fans before telling them to f**k-off, we can distract ourselves with VAR conversations til the cows come home, but it is firmly at Unai Emery’s feet all these questions lie.

But first, let’s get the VAR-related ones out of the way because you know they won’t go away by themselves…

Why do they not know how to use VAR yet?

The scoreboard displays the VAR (Video Assistant Referee) decision disallowing Arsenal's third goal by Arsenal's Greek defender Sokratis Papastathopoulos during the English Premier League football match between Arsenal and Crystal Palace at the Emirates Stadium in London on October 27, 2019. (Photo by DANIEL LEAL-OLIVAS / AFP)
The scoreboard displays the VAR (Video Assistant Referee) decision disallowing Arsenal’s third goal by Arsenal’s Greek defender Sokratis Papastathopoulos during the English Premier League football match between Arsenal and Crystal Palace at the Emirates Stadium in London on October 27, 2019. (Photo by DANIEL LEAL-OLIVAS / AFP)

I don’t know about you but if I’m doing a job and I have to learn something new, I tend to have a decent grasp on it after three months.

So why are officials in the Premier League struggling so much with VAR?

Do they not know how a TV screen works? Is there something fundamentally wrong with their brains that doesn’t allow them to see what is clearly in front of their eyes or makes them imagine stuff?

This isn’t hard. Why are they making it so hard?

Why did Martin Atkinson book Zaha before checking with VAR?

Martin ‘40% accuracy‘ Atkinson couldn’t wait to book Wilfried Zaha for diving when he had the option of waiting for the obligatory VAR check that was always going to come for a penalty call. It shows clearly the officials’ rush to judgment and desire to be quick over correct.

How lucky is Calum Chambers to be overshadowed by VAR?

Had it been Granit Xhaka, David Luiz, or Sokratis, I’ve no doubt we would be talking a lot more about the absolute idiocy that is hanging a leg in front of Zaha who has trouble staying upright when it gets a bit breezy.

Calum Chambers, however, seemed to escape the wrath of fans, mostly because so much additional stupidity took place.

Has Unai Emery lowered standards so much we thought the first half was entertaining?

Arsenal's Spanish head coach Unai Emery gestures on the touchline during the English Premier League football match between Arsenal and Crystal Palace at the Emirates Stadium in London on October 27, 2019. (Photo by DANIEL LEAL-OLIVAS / AFP)
Arsenal’s Spanish head coach Unai Emery gestures on the touchline during the English Premier League football match between Arsenal and Crystal Palace at the Emirates Stadium in London on October 27, 2019. (Photo by DANIEL LEAL-OLIVAS / AFP)

Not long into the second half Arsenal were registering 48% possession, fewer shots, passes and completed passes than Crystal Palace yet somehow the first half had seemed almost exciting compared to the football we’ve been served this season under Emery that mostly makes you want to claw your eyes out with rusty nails.

It wasn’t entertaining, it was just less sh*t.

Did Arsenal initially think this was the League Cup?

That’s the only reason I can think of for us coming out with a bit of pace and taking a two-goal lead. When we realised it was the league, we promptly reverted to being crap.

Will Hector Bellerin finally become captain?

LONDON, ENGLAND - OCTOBER 27: Granit Xhaka of Arsenal leaves the pitch after being substituted off during the Premier League match between Arsenal FC and Crystal Palace at Emirates Stadium on October 27, 2019 in London, United Kingdom. (Photo by Alex Morton/Getty Images)
LONDON, ENGLAND – OCTOBER 27: Granit Xhaka of Arsenal leaves the pitch after being substituted off during the Premier League match between Arsenal FC and Crystal Palace at Emirates Stadium on October 27, 2019 in London, United Kingdom. (Photo by Alex Morton/Getty Images)

Granit Xhaka must be stripped of the captaincy now, whether you agree or not with the fans who booed him. He simply cannot respond like that, no matter how frustrated he is.

If he was a smart man, which I think we can all agree he isn’t, he would know that a large part of the booing was for Unai Emery but it’s hard to boo a manager the way you can boo a player.

Hector Bellerin should have been given the armband in the first place and Unai Emery more-or-less sealed his own fate by giving it to the Swiss midfielder. One of a number of self-inflicted cuts that hopefully put us all out of our misery sooner rather than later.

How long has Unai emery got left?

The board have largely been behind the manager but they are not stupid people who are out of touch with the  fans like those who recently went before them.

They will notice the sea-change that came today. There seems no way back for Emery apart from immediate change on the football pitch. If that was going to happen, it would have by now.

Hopefully the club are already well on the hunt and when the right person is identified, Emery will be shown the door.

Will Arsenal sell Granit Xhaka in January?

I seems hard to imagine that he has a future at the club and few fans would cry over that, but Granit Xhaka isn’t a bad player. He’s just not a great one you should be building you team around unless you are prepared to compensate for his massive flaws.

If they strip him of the captaincy, which they must as I already mentioned, then it’s hard to see him wanting to remain at a club where he’s endured such humiliation.

What is Mesut Ozil thinking?

mesut ozil gif
‘Can’t blame me’

Sitting back, sipping a cup of tea, Ozil must surely be feeling pretty smug right about now.

Had he been included in the any of the squads recently Emery, and Xhaka, would most likely have had a lightening rod.

But as the Spaniard, for whatever reason, has decided to ditch him altogether, he gets to sit on the sidelines watching his rep grow while absolutely none of this touches him.

Don’t miss my hot take, ‘What is this sh*t, Unai?‘ written straight after the Arsenal vs Crystal palace final whistle