Keir Starmer has added to his growing reputation for bending the truth with a claim that he persuaded fellow Arsenal fans to modify a popular chant for former defender Per Mertesacker.

The Prime Minister insists that the West Stand regulars changed “We’ve got a big f**king German” to “We’ve got a big fuzzy German,” a claim met with derision by Arsenal fans, none of whom have ever heard the sanitised version.

Arsenal fan Starmer keen to reset relations and play friendlier game PM due in Dublin to meet Harris and watch England at the Aviva Stadium Irish Independent7 Sep 2024JOHN DOWNING Keir Starmer persuaded his fellow seasonticket holders at Arsenal to sanitise their chanting at six-foot-six defender Per Mertesacker. In the west stand, where the British prime minister regularly sits, the diehards modified an affectionate “We’ve got a big f**king German” to “We’ve got a big fuzzy German”. That news, via Starmer biographer Tom Baldwin, will reassure Taoiseach Simon Harris as the pair head to the Aviva Stadium this afternoon to watch Ireland face “auld enemy” England in a Uefa Nations League game. When the two leaders first met in mid-July at the prime minister’s country residence, Chequers, the Taoiseach presented him with a Donegal GAA football jersey.
Arsenal fan Starmer keen to reset relations and play friendlier game PM due in Dublin to meet Harris and watch England at the Aviva Stadium Irish Independent 7 Sep 2024 JOHN DOWNING

The chant, which became a terrace favourite during Mertesacker’s time at Arsenal, celebrated the towering 6″6′ defender’s presence on the pitch.

Mertesacker, affectionately known as “The BFG” (Big F**king German), made 221 appearances for the club between 2011 and 2018, winning three FA Cups. Known for his defensive leadership and positioning, the chant epitomised the fans’ love for the player, whose influence was pivotal in Arsenal’s cup-winning campaigns.

Starmer’s assertion, which appears in Saturday’s Irish Independent via Starmer biographer Tom Baldwin, has been ridiculed by Arsenal supporters, who maintain that no such “fuzzy” version of the chant has ever existed.

“Someone’s definitely fuzzy lying, that’s for sure,” said one supporter. Another told me, “I’ve seen fans reading the FT during games at the Emirates but even Arsenal fans would draw the line at big “fuzzy” German.”

Per Mertesacker shakes hands with Raphie Ljungberg as he signs for the Arsenal academy (Photo via Ljungberg on Instagram)
Per Mertesacker shakes hands with Raphie Ljungberg as he signs for the Arsenal academy (Photo via Ljungberg on Instagram)

As Mertesacker himself embraced the chant during his time at the club, it remains firmly entrenched in Arsenal fan culture. However, he initially thought the fans were abusing him until he realised the affection behind the chant.

“I didn’t really know what they were singing at first,” Mertesacker said. “I was frightened at the start because of the F-word.

“My first impression on that was not good. But I finally got it. A German journalist told me they quite like me. They have always tried to get on with me.”

Mertesacker remains at Arsenal, working as the Head of the Academy.

If you are an Arsenal fan who *has* heard this chant, please let us know as none of the season ticket holders here at Daily Cannon have every heard it, nor have any other fans we spoke to.