Mauricio Pochettino once revealed that he would rather work on a farm that be in charge of Arsenal, which works out well as he’d never be hired in the first place.

MUNICH, GERMANY - JULY 30: Mauricio Pochettino, head coach of Tottenham looks on before the Audi Cup 2019 semi final match between Real Madrid and Tottenham Hotspur at Allianz Arena on July 30, 2019 in Munich, Germany. (Photo by Matthias Hangst/Bongarts/Getty Images)
MUNICH, GERMANY – JULY 30: Mauricio Pochettino, head coach of Tottenham looks on before the Audi Cup 2019 semi final match between Real Madrid and Tottenham Hotspur at Allianz Arena on July 30, 2019 in Munich, Germany. (Photo by Matthias Hangst/Bongarts/Getty Images)
1

Say what?

Obviously, Pochettino was Spurs’ manager and therefore had to at least pretend that he despises Arsenal.

“For me it’s the same question as before. I am so clear. I am never going to be manager of Barcelona or Arsenal because I am so identified with Tottenham and Espanyol,” he said.

“I grew up at Newell’s Old Boys and will never manage Rosario Central. That is my decision because I prefer to work on my farm in Argentina than in some places. But my commitment is massive in this club. I am working like I am going to be here forever.”

I do find it pretty amusing that anyone, Poch’ included, would even entertain the notion that Arsenal would hire the ex-Southampton man.

The idea of Poch’ being put in charge of Arsenal is bizarre, to say the least.

Here are 9 reasons why the Gunners would never dream of hiring him…

2
(HEPPELL/AFP/Getty Images)

He manages Spurs

I don’t see Arsenal, no matter how out-of-touch our board might be, hiring a Spurs manager. They hire our managers, we don’t hire theirs.

Arsenal are looking for a new manager with a track record of winning things and nobody who has been at Spurs can claim to have that.

They haven’t won a trophy worth talking about since 1991 and won only two league cups during Arsene Wenger’s entire 22-year tenure.

3
(Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)

He’s won nothing

The 47-year-old is yet to win a trophy anywhere. He doesn’t even think it’s all that important.

That being said, seeing as the media agree with him that he doesn’t need to win trophies to be a success, perhaps he would bring relief from the incessant pressure on Arsenal from the same people.

Writing in the Guardian, Jonathan Wilson said after Spurs lost yet another semi-final, “Does Pochettino need a trophy? Of course not. Trophies are the point of sport, at least at a professional level, and there would be something very sad if silverware became less significant than league position, if the battle were transferred entirely from the pitch to the balance sheet.

“But at the same time there is something absurd about those who decry the progress made by Tottenham under Pochettino just because it has not yet been adorned by a trophy.”

4
(Catherine Ivill/Getty Images)

He’s the media’s darling

The media actually like Pochettino, as you saw in the previous point and now that I think about it a bit more, I’d actually find it all a bit confusing if they suddenly started liking Arsenal.

I don’t like change.

Imagine journalists writing things like this about Arsenal:

5
(Catherine Ivill/Getty Images)

He compared Harry Kane to Messi

Yep.

“If he plays tomorrow or doesn’t play from the beginning, I think there’s no doubt that Harry is one of our best players,” Pochettino said.

“It’s like in Barcelona; if Messi is injured for one month, and Barcelona is still winning, and Messi is available again . . . I think there’s no doubt that Harry is one of the best players that we have.”

6
(Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)

He likes Spurs

He wasn’t just in charge of them, he probably likes them a little bit.

Yikes.

7
(Nigel Roddis/Getty Images)

He’s a tad sensitive

Poch went on the defensive when the media managed to convince him that Wenger had slagged him off.

“I’m so young and only five years in the Premier League, in two clubs Southampton and Tottenham, but there’s no point to talk about another team,” Poch said.

“Praise? Of course we receive praise. Football is not only to win trophies, it’s the circumstances of different clubs. For me he is and will always be one of the best managers in the world, I respect him, but I think he needs to talk for himself and for Arsenal.

“For me he is a special manager, but everyone sometimes makes a mistake and for me he made a mistake to talk about us or a different team.”

He’s going to need thicker skin than that if he wants to take over Arsenal.

8
(Michael Steele/Getty Images)

He mostly wears a tracksuit

At the very least he could put on a tie.

9

It took him 100 years to learn English

Or thereabouts.

10

He quoted a Britney Spears song once

“I think it’s like what Britney Spears and Will.I.Am sing: ‘Everybody in the club, all eyes on us, all eyes on us’. Because it’s not important what Arsenal do,” he said.

We’re Arsenal fans, we don’t need any more weirdness in our lives.