On this week’s Daily Cannon weekly podcast, we had a lengthy discussion about the Mesut Ozil/Unai Emery nonsense that s engulfing the club, but the podcasters also took some time out to compare Arsenal’s football to Manchester City and Liverpool with hilarious results…

granit xhaka mustafi
MADRID, SPAIN – MAY 03: Diego Costa of Atletico Madrid holds off Granit Xhaka and Shkodran Mustafi of Arsenal during the UEFA Europa League Semi Final second leg match between Atletico Madrid and Arsenal FC at Estadio Wanda Metropolitano on May 3, 2018 in Madrid, Spain. (Photo by Lars Baron/Getty Images)

If you missed it, you can listen here (or in all good podcast apps), and the transcript is below. I’m not sure you’ll come across a better description of Granit Xhaka from host, Stephen Bradley than this one…

“Liverpool and Manchester City are playing with gigabit broadband. You know, thousand up, thousand down, and files transferring at two gigaseconds.

“Meanwhile, with Granit Xhaka at Arsenal, all you can hear is *makes fax machine noise*.

“But that’s the problem. He’s not the quickest and he’s not the quickest to process what’s in front of him. So it just slows everything down.

“It draws our centre backs into trying to cover for him, cough Mustafi cough. Mustafi must hate playing with Xhaka. Hate it! Because Mustafi can see the mistake that Xhaka’s about to make, then tries to cover it, or then he makes a mistake himself and the two of them look like asses.

“With Torreira in that position, Uruguay played Godin and Gimenez behind him. They go, right, that’s our back three sorted. We don’t care.

“Arsenal are so close to working out. They’ve got just about the right ingredients. They just need a chef who can pull them together.”