Harry Kane sure seems to dive a lot for a player who says he doesn’t dive, so what’s going on?

Daily Mirror, 2 September 2019

Harry Kane felt contact, therefore it couldn’t be a dive, because that’s how this works, right? Grown men, flung into the air by the brush of another’s fingertips. Makes you wonder how they cope when their girlfriend slides an arm around them as they’re doing the dishes.

Yes, here we are. Another North London derby, another set of Tottenham dives and another round of denials and discussions over whether or not Harry Kane threw himself to the ground like a p*ssed-off toddler.

Of course he dived. How is that even a question?

A three-year-old could look at this video and identify the point where Kane pushed through his legs to propel himself forward.


And it’s not like he doesn’t have form. Even before the game kicked off Arsenal fans knew he would dive because he always dives against Arsenal and generally dives when Spurs aren’t winning. They all do. It’s ingrained in their way of playing, the dark arts that Mauricio Pochettino has freely admitted is part of his coaching strategy. Clever, he calls it.

It’s the lies that come after that really get me, that and the parts of the arse-licking media that are so scared he might not not give them another bland interview full of mumbles they generate a ‘debate’ where there is none to be had.

He’s a plain and simple cheat, in all the ways.

All of these images below may not represent actual dives but no human on the planet falls like he’s made of various planks of hardwood strapped together with some sticky tape.

Even when he’s fouled, Kane dives.

He just can’t help himself.

If Harry Kane wasn’t English, this wouldn’t even be a debate. Probably wouldn’t even be a debate if he wasn’t white, either. Do you really think Raheem Sterling would get away with acting like this week in, week out?

As it stands, because he’s the captain of the England football team, Gary Lineker can tweet stuff like this and have absolutely no sense of embarrassment about it:

So, to answer the question posed in the headline, does Harry Kane dive? Yes, more than Tom Daley at the Olympics, and every single person who says he doesn’t is a liar.