Aries Mar 21 – Apr 20
A miscommunication with a fellow fan tomorrow could lead to devastating argument over Arsenal’s back-three formation. You can resolve this by reminding your friend that Laurent Koscielny is back from suspension.
Taurus Apr 21 – May 21
An unexpected invite on Sunday could see you having to choose between spending time with much-loved friends and family or spending 90 minutes crying into your alcohol as you watch Arsenal attempt to deal with a high press at Anfield. You may think there is no right decision in a situation like this, but deep down you know what to do. Your friends and family will understand.
Gemini May 22 – June 22
Have you been thinking about adopting a pet? See if you can borrow the neighbour’s dog before you make any decisions you will regret. If Rover can’t deal with your shouting and cursing as you watch Arsenal play at Liverpool, you should probably consider a goldfish.
Cancer June 23 – July 23
A friend might propose that you take part in a new project this weekend that involves watching Arsenal play at Liverpool without using alcohol. It would be foolish to rush into a decision this serious without first ensuring you have secured Valium from your doctor before kick-off.
Leo July 24 – Aug 23
A sudden surge of love for Arsenal could leave you feeling strangely conflicted by 6pm on Sunday. Go with it but be sure to remember that such feelings are fleeting and should not be allowed to encourage you to appear on AFTV.
Virgo Aug 24 – Sep 23
New channels of communication are likely to open for you today, especially around 6pm (UK time) when fans of other clubs are likely to seek you out to share a wide range of opinions with you.
Libra Sep 24 – Oct 23
Your adventurous side could show itself today. This could make itself known in many ways but will most likely encourage you to consider things you’ve never done before – like remaining sober while watching Arsenal in a top six game.
Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 22
Be prepared to be inspired today, Scorpio! You cannot imagine what a boost you will get when you see an Arsenal back three comprised of more centrebacks than left backs.
Sagittarius Nov 23 – Dec 21
You’ve always been known for your fertile imagination, but even you have to admit thoughts of Arsenal winning the league are stretching it to the limit. Tell yourself ‘it’s only August’ and focus on learning patience.
Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 20
A goal that you and some friends have always had takes a surprising turn and shows signs of manifesting sooner than you imagined, helped by ignoring Arsenal’s existence for a number of weeks after being consistently disappointed.
Aquarius Jan 21 – Feb 19
Prepare to receive the acknowledgment that you’ve been craving today. That could be for something you did at home, work, or, more likely, for your view that Arsenal are no better off this season than they were last.
Pisces Feb 20 – Mar 20
Your desire to learn new skills gets a boost this weekend when you are forced to answer questions from opposing fans about why Arsene Wenger picked that team to face Liverpool.