James Milner has been diagnosed with a ‘torn muscle’ in his foot but, remarkably, has not been ruled out of the game at the weekend against Arsenal.

Milner had to come off in Liverpool’s pre-season friendly against Barcelona at the weekend and is one of a number of player’s currently giving Jurgen Klopp a headache ahead of the game.

Undergoing a scan, the full extent of the problem was revealed but the Express claim the tear is not serious and he could even return this weekend which is just something that is beyond the comprehension of all Arsenal fans.

We’re all sitting wondering how long Jack’s ‘one week’ injury will sideline him for really. We’re currently at eight days and counting.

We’re still also waiting news on Gabriel’s injury but nobody thinks that’s going to be good.

Three months is the standard Arsenal injury, and then we just keep resetting the clock for a few months until they eventually return at the end of the season.

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Writer. Feminist. Dreamer. Gooner. Owner of DailyCannon.com, writing about Arsenal since 2008. Sometimes found in the Guardian, Vice.com & elsewhere talking queer issues, politics & football. If in doubt, assume sarcasm.