With the news that Arsenal had activated Jamie Vardy’s transfer clause, the factories tasked with churning out meaningless gossip have been unable to dedicate any time to making up other rumours, resulting in a sharp decline of bulls**t over the weekend.

Journalists and bloggers alike found their time taken up with the ins and outs of what is a surprise move by the Arsenal manager, leaving the feeds of hundreds of sites barren.

Stories which had seen Arsenal ‘in talks,’ ‘close to,’ or ‘moving for’ a host of players across the globe fell by the wayside almost as if there had been no real substance to them in the first place as we witnessed a steep drop in the number of Arsenal transfer stories that aren’t Vardy-related.

The factories are expected to resume business as normal over the summer months as soon as Arsenal announce the finalisation of the Vardy deal, freeing up more writing hours to devote to finding any reason possible to link a player with Arsenal.

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Writer. Feminist. Dreamer. Gooner. Owner of DailyCannon.com, writing about Arsenal since 2008. Sometimes found in the Guardian, Vice.com & elsewhere talking queer issues, politics & football. If in doubt, assume sarcasm.