If the latest reports linking us to Juventus’ Álvato Morata are to be believed, we’re willing to pay the striker more than we give Mesut Özil and Alexis Sanchez every week.

First things first before everyone kicks off: the story is from The Sun. Now, I’m not insinuating that The Sun is unreliable… I’m point-blank telling you that The Sun is unreliable.

They’re saying that we’re willing to part with £155k a week for Morata, when Mesut only earns £140k and Alexis gets a – quite frankly – stingy £130k (I know, how ever do they eat?). It’s probably worth pointing out that it’s doubtful that our German genius will only (pah) earn this amount for much longer, considering we’re set to start negotiations over a new contract after the Euros this summer.

What else is noteworthy? The fact that Morata is most likely going back to Real Madrid. Juve bought him from them in 2014 and the La Liga team have a tasty buy-back clause of £25m; a lot less than we would have to pay, let’s say that much.

Morata isn’t half bad, to be fair. He scored 11 goals in 34 La Liga appearances this season and created 12 assists. He also got six yellow cards which, for a striker, is pretty impressive – Giroud only got two in the Premier League and we all know he loves a scuffle.