It’s only been 11 days since Arsenal’s final game of the season finished with a big German holding a small pot, but that’s been more than enough time for the relentless and merciless machine that is the transfer rumour mill to take over our lives and our social media feeds.

Usually when this happens, it’s because of one of four reasons;

  1. Arsenal are trying to buy a big name
  2. Arsenal are trying to buy a youngster who nobody’s heard of but are basing their opinion on him on one YouTube clip anyway
  3. Arsenal are desperately trying to keep their best player from leaving
  4. Arsenal are desperately trying to flog off their unwanted players to the first possible bidder.

This time is different though, because even though the season has just finished, Arsenal find themselves dealing with all four of these problems simultaneously.

2. The Young Gun

The mysterious saga of Henry Onyekuru continues.

First David Ornstein says that reports are ‘wrong’, then Onyekuru comes out and says that Arsenal have made an offer for him and he’s looking forward to playing for the club, then the European press confirms that a bid has been made, then it’s reported that West Ham are in for him, then Onyekuru says that the amount of playing time assured to him will help decide where he plays next season.

Huh?

I’m not saying there’s something fishy about all of this, but there are seagulls hovering over my laptop right now.

I’m just saying.