There are certain things that you’ll only understand if you’re an Arsenal fan.
That strange apathetic numbness that comes from watching the Gunners go 2-0 ahead before going 3-2 down or that quiet resignation when Jack Wilshere goes down holding his leg. You all know exactly what I’m on about.
The exasperation you feel whenever a pundit talks about whether Arsene Wenger should leave or when they mention our defensive facilities as if they’re new.
Wenger trying and failing to do up his caterpillar coat; Steve Bould just staring vacantly into the distance; seeing our new home kit and saying you ‘probably’ shouldn’t buy it but getting your credit card out anyway.
That odd warm feeling in your chest at the beginning of each season before you realise that it was just heartburn.
The feeling of being utterly humiliated by opposition before having to hear how we’ll ‘bounce back’ the following week.
Well, this got a bit dark, didn’t it?
10. Being 4 goals up but still being nervous
That 4-4 against Newcastle, as well as Arsenal’s dodgy defending, has ruined being comfortably ahead for me forever.
9. “Unlucky Theo”
The phrase, I believe, started on Alan Davies’ Tuesday Club podcast and it’s stuck.
8. It’s the hope that kills you
The same as above but it’s also very, very true. You think we’d have learned by now; we need to have the lowest expectations possible.
7. I love Wenger, I hate Wenger, I love Wenger
One minute I love him, he’s the best manage in the world and I want no one else to ever manage Arsenal again.
The next I’m slating him, saying that his time at the club should come to an end. I will say, however, that I’ve never said ‘Wenger Out’.
6. Genuinely not knowing where you players have gone
5. Anti-interlull
Despite feeling a passionate hatred for my team at times, I always want to see them play and international football just doesn’t do it for me.
4. “If only…”
If only Jack Wilshere wasn’t so injury-prone. If only Abou Diaby hadn’t had his ankle smashed. In only Eduardo hadn’t had his broken. If only, if only, if only.
3. Dreading the festive period
Arsenal always seem to have their mid-season slump after Christmas.
2. Winning at Wembley
It’s nice to know we’ve won there more than Spurs when it’s their ‘home’ ground at the moment.
1. “Is this the Emirates?”
Arsenal fans singing 'is this the Emirates' at a very quiet Stamford Bridge
— Chris Wheatley (@ChrisWheatley_) September 17, 2017
At least we can laugh at ourselves, eh?