It’s all doom and gloom in Arsenal world today.
Or so it seems anyway. There’s a lot to be sad about, and I’ll get onto that, but I also thought it’d be fun to look at some of the (tiny, invisible, ignored by the mainstream media) positives of last night.
Reasons to be cheerful
We were actually quite good, even though no one will remember anything other than the F**KING HILARIOUS 10-2 jokes. I mean, even the BBC are at it – you’re supposed to be a reputable state-funded news outlet, not the banter brigade.
Theo Walcott now has more Champions League goals than Zinedine Zidane or the Brazilian Ronaldo. Yeah, you read that right. It was an absolute peach, too.
Alexis managed to pass to a teammate more times than he passed to the opposition. He’s nailed on to put six past Lincoln now with that kind of improvement in form.
No queues at Finsbury Park after the match, so I got home a full five minutes earlier than usual.
We made it through the night without booing our own team or fighting amongst ourselves. In the stadium at least.
I had maltesers to help me get through.
Reasons to be a bit less cheerful
It’s official: all European referees hate us. I’m only surprised Walcott wasn’t booked for diving when Xabi Alonso chopped him down in the box, and then sent off for giving the ball back to Alaba.
We were a bit poo once we realised that all European referees hate us. How did it take us so long to realise?
All the toilet roll had been confiscated so we couldn’t clean up the poo the ref left in his wake nor the poo of our own which followed.
Giroud can’t play in Round of 16 ties. Well, he can play, but not with any ability. To be fair to Wenger, he’s clearly realised this and tried to bench the Frenchman for this one up until Welbeck was withdrawn. Cue horrible finishing and a general failure to impact the game. Rumour has it Giroud once killed a black cat during a Round of 16 tie, and is cursed never to score in one again.
Happy Germans. Seriously, do even their own fans like that Bayern chant? You bothered to translate your banners into English, surely you can come up with a chant containing more than one word.
Rio Ferdinand. He’s just a general negative to be honest, rather than one specific to last night.
My maltesers ran out about 75 minutes in.
Seriously though, don’t put up with slander from colleagues, friends and family this week. We were fair game in the first leg. Not this time round.